Written by Andrea Boring, twins-happen.com
Andrea Boring is the mother of twin 4-year-old boys who are making it their mission in life to drive her crazy. Check out her blog, Twins Happen.
You are a MOTHER! Can you help a sister out?
Sometimes, I am absolutely flabbergasted by the callousness and seemingly I-don’t-give-a-**** attitude of our society. I shouldn’t be. I know this. I mean, I have lived for 34 years, but people, especially certain fellow mothers, BLOW ME AWAY with the lack of sensitivity shown on a somewhat regular basis.
Wow, Andrea, you must be upset to use the F-bomb. Yes, yes, I am upset, and I will tell you what set me off. It happened at the Walmart. I know, I know, no shocker there. We all know the stereotypes of the Walmart shoppers, even though we are all Walmart shoppers ourselves.
Here’s the Scene: Turkeys [my sons] and I dropped by the Walmart for the last stop of the day before naptime. They were fuss-buckets, so I popped them in the shopping cart, much to their chagrin. But they were in some mood today; and I was not about to chase them up and down the aisles, especially since I just wanted to look at some fabric. I’ve been feeling all crafty lately and am going to be creating myself a cute little office cubicle in my dining room. That’s a whole ‘nother post though.
Back to the Walmart: they didn’t have what I was looking for, so it was a pretty quick trip. However, turkeys were upset; they wanted to look at toys, get ice cream from McDonald’s, etc. They were teary, snotty messes by the time we headed into the parking lot. As I walked to the van, a car pulled in right next to ours; and its passengers included a mom, grandma-type figure, and a toddler. I parked the cart at the rear of the van, and I got Hayden out of the big basket area (leaving Logan in the front part; you know, where the legs go through the holes); and as I put Hayden in the car and buckled him in, I saw the women look towards the area of my cart and point. The cart was admittedly out of my sight.
I shut the door and walked around the van and saw my kid STANDING straight up in the front part of the little basket. I scooped him up, tried to calm my pounding heart while simultaneously planting slobbery wet kisses all over his face and thanking God for keeping my crazy kid safe even though his dirt-bag mother (me) didn’t buckle him.
As I carried him to his seat, I saw the family walking away, looking back and shaking their heads.
This is where I get angry.
I KNOW they saw my child standing in that front basket, where all it would have taken was a tiny shift in weight and BOOM! He would have likely suffered a serious injury. Why didn’t either one of those MOTHERS say anything? If the situation had been reversed, I would have dashed over and sat the kid down on his cute little tushy. I DON’T CARE what the kid’s mother might have thought. I know accidents happen. Admittedly, my son was not buckled into the seat; and I would have seriously beaten myself up for the rest of my life if anything had happened to him. I made a slip up. I’m not perfect.
But why didn’t she say anything to me? Why didn’t she yell? Why didn’t she run over to the cart? Why didn’t she help my child in a moment where his mother failed him? I’m sure she isn’t heartless. I’m sure she would have felt terrible if something had happened to Logan.
Motherhood is a tough gig. We all know that. I know that, which is why I go out of my way to help other mothers when I am out in public. Whether it be holding the door for a mom with a gigantic stroller or letting a mom know her kid is dangling out of a shopping cart or helping another mother chase down an errant toddler at Target. I do these things because if the situations were reversed, I would certainly want another mother to help me out. And plenty have; don’t get me wrong. I won’t let one bad apple ruin the bunch. The Golden Rule is still alive and kicking in my head and will continue to drive my actions on a daily basis.
Why didn’t she do anything?
Was she concerned I might freak out on her, tell her to mind her own business? Since when should we allow the safety of a child to be compromised by what someone’s reaction might be? These questions, of course, are all rhetorical. We see the headlines every day. The apathy of our society in general is mind-blowing, and it will be a miracle if humans manage to survive for another 100 years.